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<v 1>It wasn't Johnny. He was standing at the office desk. He</v>

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had his hand wrapped in this, uh, like rags or, you know,

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bandana, rags and I,

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I think he took them down or somehow showed me and he said, "Look,

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what you made me do. I did this for you." Something to that effect.

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I figured out he was missing a finger.

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He kind of held it up and I said, "What did you do? When, like what,

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what did you do when?" And I realized in my head that there had been many hours.

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I loved this man so much and it was

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so toxic.

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And for some reason I couldn't get him to,

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I couldn't get him to not hurt me. I, I,

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I couldn't.

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And it seemed like I was hurting him, but we love each other,

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loved each other so much. At least I loved him so much.

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And I, I didn't know what to do.

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I didn't know what to do with this relationship.